Henri had it made. He had a five-acre lot with a very efficient log home and unlimited use of a million more acres. He had purchased the property for this very reason. Henri was a hiker. He lived for hiking. He had moved to Colorado because it was the perfect hiking environment. Since his house bordered the National Forest, he could treat the land and its infinite variety of paths as his own. Henri hiked for 10 miles every other day. At fifty-four, he was a self-sufficient retired corporate executive from Montreal with a golden parachute that allowed him to indulge in his chosen pleasure without distraction. Even though he had access to a myriad of hiking options, Henri had decided that his desires were most fulfilled by one particular track. His chosen route wound through thick woods, alongside clear mountain streams, and passed clearings with breathtaking views that changed every season. He pretty much climbed for the first five miles, then navigated the backside of the horseshoe shaped trail while stretching out his stride on the descent. He had already completed the circuit at least 150 times, and the combined effects of exhilaration and the seasonal changes eliminated any possibility of boredom.

    He had just about completed the ascent when he heard a growl. Then there was a large, apparently unfriendly animal that suddenly appeared to block his progress. This wasn't the usual sort of dangerous animal one would expect to encounter in the forest. Henri had done his homework and minimized his chances of running across bears or mountain lions. He wasn't prepared to run into anything like this. If he had to guess, he would have assumed that it was the offspring of an abandoned German Shepherd and a timber wolf. The creature was as large as an adolescent bear. He was entranced by the way that it stared at him. He was certain that he was seeing a lot more intelligence than there should be in those eyes. He decided it was more wolf than dog. Then, being the imaginative sort that he was, Henri decided this was probably a Dolf.

    At first, it appeared that the animal could easily take him, but Henri quickly decided how to even the contest. He quickly bent and scooped up a large rock, which if applied correctly, would have probably stopped a horse from advancing. Now that there was more equanimity to the situation, Henri felt that it was appropriate to present his case.

    “Good day, mon ami. It's highly unlikely that you will be able to understand the exact words that I use. But I know that you will be able to determine my meaning by my tone of voice and body language. Now, I'm not trying to say that these woods are for my exclusive use. I believe that sharing the environment with our furry friends is a noble enterprise. However, it appears that you are more interested in attacking me than getting your daily allowance of sun, air and exercise. SACRE BLEU! You are indeed an animal of great strength and speed. You are obviously the possessor of superior intelligence as well.”

    The Dolf seemed to be somewhat interested in this brilliant monologue.

    “I'm sure that you can easily capture squirrels, rabbits and the like. Those meal options are much better suited to your ideal diet. And if you were to kill and eat me – well, what would you do with the leftovers? I'm almost certain that you don't maintain a living area complete with a refrigerator. With the heat of the day, I'd probably spoil in no time at all. You really have to consider all of the aspects of this decision before you finalize it.”

    The Dolf was obviously considering these very valid points.

    “You may also have noted that I am currently in possession of an extremely large rock. If this weighty object was to come in contact with your cranium, MON DIEU, the results could be devastating. In fact, if I was to miss the mark ever so slightly, you could be lame for weeks. As a result, I ask that you reconsider your options and seek other repast.”

    The Dolf did not yet appear convinced.

    “Look. If you really think that you can take me, then go for it. I just want you to know that I have every intention of making you pay heavily for any damage that you might cause. I would also like to present you with one additional factor that may assist you in making a final determination. I can tell by your excellent physique and obvious intelligence that you are probably of French descent. I also have that privilege of ancestry and believe that we are truly brothers of nature. It would behoove you to choose the gentlemanly option and go on your way, so that I may complete my mission for this day.”

    At last the Dolf had chosen the correct outcome. He looked at Henri with a mixture of respect and disdain. With a short snort, he turned off into the woods and did not pay Henri even the slightest bit of attention as he stalked off.

    Henri breathed a sigh of relief that he had been so successful in this risky endeavor. He had conveyed logic to a creature of instinct. He was very proud of this accomplishment. But he also had a modicum of common sense that dictated that he continue to carry the rock for some distance. He further rationalized this action by extolling the additional benefits of muscle building in conjunction with cardiovascular exercise. After all, he was a Frenchman, and therefore smarter and healthier than most other forms of humanity.

    He cast the stone away when he reached the top of the trail. It was at this point that he started his jog down the backside.

    Henri had completed this run so many times that he knew every tree and every fallen branch along the way. He was intimately familiar with every rock and every change in the trail surface. He was comfortable with his ability to virtually sprint down the last two miles.

    Subsequently, he was extremely surprised when he stepped into a hole. It might have been a rabbit hole, or a gopher hole. It could have been an extremely displaced black hole from outer space. Nevertheless, it was a hole that took his foot eagerly into its jaws. He could easily compare the sound of his splintering ankle with what one hears as a tree limb snaps in a high wind. When his upper body made contact with his treasured trail it was with significant force. He knew that his jaw would be broken even before contact. Given his speed and the sudden pitch forward, he would also successfully break three ribs on his right side and dislocate his right elbow. He worried about how silly he must look and wondered briefly whether there was anyone around to see him in this ridiculous pose. Then, as anyone would do under the same circumstances, he passed out.

    Though the Dolf found the tragic ballet somewhat humorous, he believed that he possessed some class, and managed to contain his hyena-like laughter. He remained in the wild grass about fifty yards from Henri and noted that the human had apparently lost consciousness. He probably wouldn't have taken such destructive measures if Henri had shut up earlier. It wasn't so bad that he showed some untimely poor taste by presuming to dictate what diet was best for the Dolf. But the man had the nerve to threaten his welfare and discuss potentially distasteful consequences should the Dolf remain in his company. The implication that they shared French heritage was right on target. They had both managed to immigrate to this lovely Colorado country from the less bountiful winters of Canada. But this human had THREATENED him. This was a total disallowance of the balance of nature and could not go unpunished. Given no other alternative that would save face, the Dolf had acted quickly.

    It was very easy to make the three miles well in advance of Henri. The Dolf was as familiar with the trail as the man, and had been watching Henri for weeks. He wasn't sure if he was going to eat him or not, but had made preparations along the stream bank by digging a containment area that would be continually cooled by the running water. That would serve as refrigeration until the human was fully consumed. Knowing that Henri was a devoted runner (at least downhill), the Dolf had watched the progress and disposition of the man's descent for the last five trips. Though Henri had probably never noticed, he did not vary his footfalls in the least. Therefore, it was very easy to determine exactly where the hole should be located, the depth necessary to affect the desired result, and the most effective way to camouflage the opening without raising suspicion.

    So while Henri was celebrating his victory of man over beast, the Dolf was well ahead of him preparing for the opposite outcome. Given the negligible human speed that Henri was moving, the Dolf had time to prepare the hole, hide it from view, stroll back into a comfortable area out of sight from the path, and take a short nap before Henri's arrival. He was rewarded with a magnificent view of the ensuing ‘accident'.

    Though he certainly didn't feel any remorse, the beast had pangs of sentimentality. Even if the man was a classless bore, the Dolf still felt that it would be more ‘humane' if Henri didn't have the bad luck to regain consciousness while his throat was being ripped out.

    And, in accordance with his heritage, Dolf had listened to a great deal of the French language when he was avoiding hunters in the Canadian Rockies. He knew that he had lost many of the words in the ensuing years. But, as he slowly made his way out of the trees to pay a second visit to his dinner companion, a phrase kept running through his brain. Though he had no idea how to speak the language, he was absolutely sure that the phrase must be appropriate. Even the breeze in the leaves was whispering those words to him as he arrived at his destination.

    Bon Appétit!