Introducing a new fantasy heroine…you can’t but like her when you see how she is.

     Riding, no, make that flying, on my pink unicorn with wings is I, Rhoda the Red of the planet Mitra, third stone in the Gilgamesh star system.

     I’m an independent contractor. I’ll work with anything if the pay is good and the cause is just.

     For the curious, I am a five foot ten redhead with green eyes, wearing a red low-cut blouse with matching hotpants and black leather boots.

     Hark! My orbs spy a tall, handsome and green-haired traveler, surrounded by robbers carrying yellow laser light-sabered swords. I direct Pink Sprite, my winged, horned steed, down to where the holdup is now in progress.  Once grounded, I dismount and make my move.

     “Get away from that man, you lowlifes!”

     They, of course, cackle at my command like it’s one big joke.  They even make lewd comments concerning my apparel. Once the jocularity has ceased, they draw their lightsabers. I also draw mine from my scabbard, a bright pink one, and meet them for the dance. I make short work of them by gutting those bastards where they stand.

     My handsome emerald man in distress thanks me by offering me a small bag of gold for my heroics and altruism.

     “No, thank you, sir, there’s no payment for helping a fellow Mitrian out, especially one as strong and good-looking as you.”  I bat my right eye at this gorgeous and dreamy guy. “Besides, there’s plenty of gold from those dead thieves, probably stolen from previous thefts. By all means, Greenhead, help yourself.”  I smile.

     We evenly divide the bags of gold, five for him and five for me. While we are gathering it up, a lone bearded man springs from the forest, rushing with a yellow lightsaber.

     “Look out, Greenmane!” I shout my warning to the traveler. I draw a raygun from my holster and shoot him with a disintegrator ray. He dies and vanishes.

     “My thanks, Red. He must have been the leader of this gang of cut-throats. My name is Gary the Green. I’m from the kingdom of Gogogophus.”

     “Ah, that explains your long green mane and your green apparel. I’m Rhoda the Red. I have no home. I’m a wanderer. A sell-sword for hire.”

     “As I am, Rhoda. Listen, I don’t know how to thank you for saving my life.”

     “I do, Emeraldlocks.”

     I seize Gary in my arms and introduce him to my powerful cherry lips. He responds with the most ecstatic of groans.

     “It’s unfortunate you didn’t come with any transportation, Gary. We could have ridden together.”

     “Who says I don’t have any transportation, Red?”

     Gary inserts his first two left fingers in his mouth and creates a whistle. From out of the Mitrian green sky comes a flying blue unicorn.

     “His name is Blue Wind.”

     “Cool.  Mine is Pink Sprite.  She’s a girl.”

     “I can see that, Scarletlocks.  Look at how they’re flirting.”

     The two colorful unicorns neigh and whinny their affections as they playfully rub against each other.

     “Wow, looks like everyone got what they wanted here,” I say to Gary, smiling.

     “Yes, especially you and I.”

     We kiss once more, only more passionately.

     “Let’s ride, Gary.”

     “Where to, Rhoda?”

     “How about the land of Rhannorious? The cuisines there are fabulous, as are the malls.”

     “Fine with me.”

     We mount our unicorns and fly off, hoping we won’t run into any trouble. Not to worry, though. This warrior woman will protect her man. After all, men are the weaker sex and it’s the duty of every woman to look out for her man, tee hee hee.

     Once at Rhannorious, gorgeous Gary the Green will once more feel the powerful scorching lips of ravishing Rhoda the Red, followed by a night of forbidden, uninhibited pleasures that only two people in love, lust, and having fun can possibly create, wooo….

 

 

 

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